I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
