curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
