I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
