I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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