if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize