why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
