pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
