He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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