Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
