I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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