About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
