Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
