"it" just moved
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
