I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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