What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
