Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Let's get the cat blown out
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
