My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
