Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
