My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
