I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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