1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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