so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
