I wish i was in the wii world.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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