I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
