Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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