I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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