No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
