ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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