I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i would punch a child for taco bell
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize