My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
