So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
