I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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