no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
they need to just BURY HIM!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
my poor anus
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
