I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize