So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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