So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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