somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize