Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The feeling are messing with the penis
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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