so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
