my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
