Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
