We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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