Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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