i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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