I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
where are my eyebrows?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
