Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
