Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drunk walkin through police station. America
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize