Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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