I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
