Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize