Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
PANTIES FOUND
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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