Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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