I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
