I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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