: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
