it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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