So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
