i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
