i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
