The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
