You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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