are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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