lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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