connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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