I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
