I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm both gender and math confused
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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