When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
