whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
last night I used snow as a chaser
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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