the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
