Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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