I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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