apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Randomize
