what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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