Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
