Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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